Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
its liver damage thursday
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
