we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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