Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
