Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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