im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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