So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
