the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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