I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
