She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
