that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
