she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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