We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
