We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
