I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
