i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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