Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
