Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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