I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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