I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize