best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
