This is not my ceiling
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We don't watch enough power rangers
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
