You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
