We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
