so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
