everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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