Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
