i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
