We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
