i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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