Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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