I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm having to shit out rocks
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
