I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
