wat bout pragnant strippers??
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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