Im at strip club and am horny
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
