Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
