The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
