There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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