I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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