My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
