so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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