so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize