Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
