I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
