i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i dont even know how to be here
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
