I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
