my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
