well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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