I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
