thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize