This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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