you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
it's like heaven, but drunker
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
