I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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