He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
