so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
