fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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