the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
