Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
