i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Randomize
