do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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