Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
