My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
